2. Boring Other Stuff
1. So I broke into a house yesterday. Well, let me clarify, my friend's house.
My friend Jenn was sick at home so I had to bring her some documents from IES. She came out in her onesy pajamas to let me in, leaving her apartment door open while she went to open the building door. Then the Spawn of Satan Cat decided to play a trick on us mortals by rubbing his Grizzly Back of Hate on the door, closing and locking it. Normally, this would not be an issue, we all get locked out here a lot, but this time the stove was on, and her host wasn't due home for a while.
When calls to the landlord and locksmith-breaker-inner-100 euro-guy failed, we gave the IES emergency number a try. Now I thought that an emergency number's purpose was pretty clear: call it and someone will always answer. Apparently the Germans don't have the second part. I had to get in touch with a student at IES and had him put me on with a staff member.
It took about 20 minutes before we actually got anywhere contacting Jenn's host, despite the fact that all their numbers are stored at IES somewhere. I imagine that while Jenn's nice neighbor with a ladder and a toolset and I, with a panicing Jenn on my shoulders trying to climb through a window, were working out in the rain, the people at IES must've been really busy hauling ass to find the phonenumber Excel sheet...
By this time the house had filled with significant amount of smoke and the plastic on her coffee pot had long ago melted away. Then the fire alarm finally sounded. Hitler Cat had little time left before the smoke got really bad and Jenn's host was 30 minutes away, so we took the next logical step: we threw a brick through kitchen window.
It went straight through both panes and crashed onto the kitchen floor, luckily missing the stove and not damaging the floor. I then had to climb up to the tip of the neighbor's ladder, reach through the foot wide circular hole in the window, and open it from the inside. I climbed through the window, turned off the stove, and opened the front door for Jenn.
So there you have it, official breaking and entering. Chairman Meow was ok, hiding under his Bed of Deceit, but he knew he had been beaten. We opened all the windows and it turned out that the smoke wasn't as bad as it looked.
What was really strange and even more infuriating, was that for the entire hour I was there after the alarm started going off and crashed a heavy brick through the window, no one, not the Polizei, not the neighbors (except the nice ones who helped), no one came by. Berlin is famous (nowadays) for its people minding their own business, but this was disturbing. If I had been a burglar, I wouldv'e been able to easily walk off with 2 laptops. Hell, I could've parked a car in front of the house and made trips until I had cleared it all out. I probably could broken into another apartment in her huge building even right after all this and gotten away with it. A neighbor wouldm't have even come in, they'd just knock and all I'd have to is "We're fine, we're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?" and they'd go away.
Everything is OK now though, don't worry Mom, I'm not a criminal, nor am I hurt. IES feels terrible about the whole thing and will take care of most stuff. I took pictures, so Jenn's host's insurance will pay for the window.
Also, this has only added to the 'Superman' title one of the staff gave me in Hamburg.
2. Eh, forget it, I'll bunch the other stuff in with another post. This can sum up most of it: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/couric-palin-open/704042/
Will
2 Kommentare:
funny story.
APPARENTLY INSURANCE DOESNT COVER SHIT.
aka. JENN HAS TO PAY.
you will be seeing a "please help jenn pay for a new fenster fund" jar quite soon in the IES building.
Wow, Will....This is absolutely the most unique experience I've heard in our time abroad so far! Sounds crazy!
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